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Thursday, 17 May 2012

The reason I complain and feel sorry for myself right now

As a lot of you know I've not been very well for a while, I have been off work for 6 weeks now, not including the 2 weeks before that for Easter.

It all seemed to start with a rather nasty sinus infection that spread, that healed up and I was all set for going back to work but unfortunately only managed one day before having to go home with the worse headache/migraine I've ever had. This then lasted for another 4 weeks.

 I of course went to my GP who said it was a virus, then a week later said it's post viral. I have had countless tests done, all of which came back clear.

Okay so now I know what I've not got...but to closer to what I have got. This week when I went back my GP said that it is post viral fatigue, and if I have no improvement within a month I will be referred to the hospital.

 Now post viral fatigue... I had a bit of a think about it and thought, before I had this I never would have thought this is what it would be like. For everyone I guess things are different but to give you an idea of what it is like for me I will give you a typical day for me at the moment.

 Alarm goes off, I have slept for 10 hours yet feel like I only just dropped off. I struggle to open my eyes and as I wake up realise that my whole body hurts. When I say hurts I don't mean a dull ache or a few niggles I mean proper agony from head to toe! I finally get up, before I can do anything I have to have something to eat, until I have eaten I can't take my medication and if I can't take that I might as well just get back in bed as the pain will be so bad for the rest of the day I will be unable to do anything.

Once meds have been taken I can tackle the challenges of the day, so many things I used to take for granted, like washing my hair, getting dressed, running up the stairs. Some days are better than others and I might just be able to wash my own hair, or get both arms in a jacket, running up the stairs however is out no matter how good the day might be but as the song goes "two out of three ain't bad" Once all that is done and I am dressed and washed and ready to leave the house what do I do.....sleep! Yes mid morning naps, a luxury I thought only babies and the elderly got to indulge in, ok joking aside it's not so much of a luxury as a necessity for me, if I don't have a rest at least I cannot physically make it through the rest of the day. 

Random thought when I said about it being a better day I should explain that too, I scale pain out of 10, on a bad day the pain can be at about 9/10 all day long, when I say a good day that doesn't mean that the pain is 0/10 if i am really lucky it might only be 3/10 but more than likely it will be more like 5/10.

 Right nap time is over and milk and cookie time still a long way off it's time to try and do some jobs and get lunch. For this I will need the help of my new best friend, my walking stick! I would be totally lost without it as it is the only way I can get around the house without holding onto furniture, falling and doing the penguin shuffle. Any kind of house work is hard going, raising my arms up i agony as is bending down, I have to kneel at the washing machine to load and unload it as bending down to do it is just out of the question. Making lunch isn't so easy either, you don't realise until you can't lift arms up or bend down far how all of the food in the house is either really high or really low! All this probably takes a hour or so and by the time it's all done I am totally shattered again and pain levels are high, time for more meds.

 If there is time I will have another nap or rest round about now, sometimes just getting lunch can take that long that it is already time for the school run. Once all the boys are in from school I will get the dinner cooked, again what I do depends on how helpful the boys are and what sort of day I have had. I do have great kids that will help me prepare the dinner and help clear away the pots after it (most of the time, but they are children after all lol).

 Evening times are very relaxed, by evening I am so stiff and so sore I can't really do a great deal, at the end of the night if I am lucky I can get up to bed, if it's too painful to get up the stairs I will just sleep on the sofa. Some nights I will sleep all nights, others I will be woken with muscle cramps, twitching, pain, night fever or headache.

One other thing I am having to learn to live with is brain fog. So many times I start to say something only to forget what the word is I am looking for, or try to say it and nothing come out of my mouth. I can't remember things very well, and any kind of concentration leaves me totally worn out with a migraine.

I have so much respect for people that have lived with things like this for years, I didn't realise how much I took for granted until now. Going to the beach and having to stay off the sand because you are in a wheelchair, not being able to go for a walk in the park, I can either sit on a bench and watch it or be pushed around it.
Not being able to run around with my children, go to work, do all the things that make me ME!

 I hope you understand a little more now what I am going through right now. I will find ways to deal with it and to try and keep my life, but if i am a little short tempered, distant or just not myself you know why so please just be patient with me.

Smeared and Smudged Confessions blog hop

Smeared and Smudged May Member Blog Hop

Black Dragon
Susan S.
Lady Brayton
I have to say I was starting to wonder if i'd get this done in time. Been a tough few days, making anything has just been too painful so I decided to make a digital page for this blog hop. I had to have a long think about what I was going to do as you never know who might tell your Mum what you say lol.
The piece I decided to make was about a weekend when I was 14. I was staying at my grandparents for the night and we went to the local social club. My gran asked what I wanted to drink an I told her Diamond White, wasn't really even sure what it was all I knew was all my friends at school had been talking about it so I wanted to try it. Well my gran got me this bottle of it probably not even knowing what it was, now don't think my gran was irresponsible, anyone that knows her would know that is far from the truth, she is just old fashioned and sees no harm in anything, well didn't anyway. Unfortunately she is now in a nursing home as she has Alzheimers she is in her 90's now but even though she's not sure who anyone is and gets confused about everything she is a proper little fighter and I love her to bits. Well back to the story...I drank my Diamond White, I don't remember if i had a second or not, it was the first time that i'd ever really drank that I remember so it didn't take much to get me drunk. Now the getting drunk bit wasn't so bad but the hangover the day was just terrible. I was determined i wasn't going to tell my Mum that I had got drunk and that I was really suffering the next morning when I was picked up to go with the rest of the family to Cosford air show. Now i'm sure everyone has had a hang over at some point or other and the last thing you want is loud jets booming around your head all day lol lets just say it's a day I won't forget!! So that is my confession! Please take a look at what everyone else has been hiding from their Mum's I'm certain it will make for exciting viewing :)

Thursday, 10 May 2012

Skull Appreciation Day Blog Hop with Smeared Ink

Do you love creating amazing projects that showcase skully goodness? Wanna get some traffic to your blog and share your obsession? Join us on June 4th for one wild blog hop event! We will be celebrating Skull Appreciation Day by featuring handmade projects that spotlight the much-loved cranium. We will also be giving away tons of freebies during the hop! 
 How can you participate, you ask?

Well, there are a couple of ways to get in on the action. To spread the word,
grab our button here and post it to your blog, facebook page, or website and share the info. Then come hop through the amazing projects on the 4th. 
 To join in, simply make a homemade project or craft that features a skull and sign up to be included in our hop list. This is open to any crafter or artist who would like to feature a handmade skull-themed project. You can sign up by leaving a comment your name and blog address. All participants will receive a free Smeared Ink Skull Appreciation digi image to add to your collection. 

 After you sign up, be on the lookout for the hop list to be posted. The deadline for signing up as a participant is Thursday May 31, 2012. We will post the hop list of participants on Saturday morning, June 2, 2012. Then just share your project on the 4th along with the list of participating blogs! During the hop we will also be giving away freebies, so that is even more incentive to participate or hop along.

If you or someone you know would like to sponsor the hop with your own freebie giveaway featuring a skull (and get advertising on our forum, blogs, and other hop information posts like facebook shares), please contact Tori 

When you sponsor, we will add your website/button to all of our hop advertising. 

Thanks for joining us in this event and spreading the word, and we look forward to a fun skull-filled blog hop on the 4th! 
*for more information on Skull Appreciation Day, please visitSkull-A-Day.

 Sponsor list (more as they come) Smeared Ink - Get $1.50 Off SKULL DIGI SINGLES from now until June 4th! Use coupon code SKULLDAY2012
Black Dragon